Archive for April, 2008

Long Tail

April 23, 2008

Bantu Monkey had a very long tail of at least 10 ft. He has lot of advantage of his long tail . With the help of his long tail, he could swing from one tree to other very easily. He could easily carry bunch of bananas in his tail and jump on to other trees. Whenever he felt like to enjoy swing; he used to swing with the help of his tail When he wanted to enjoy a swing, he used to jump in the river, swinging with his tail.

Many animals admired his long tail but some were jealous as well. Neetu Monkey was one of them. His tail was severed in an accident. Since then he was always jealous of Bantu’s long tail. But Bantu never bothered about other’s reaction about his tail Many a times he had even tried to talk to Neetu but Neetu always ignored him. One day Cheeku Rabbit fell in a pit. Luckily, it was a dry pit. Cheeku shouted many times but nobody heard him. But as the luck would have it, Bantu heard his SOS call, as he was swinging on a branch of a tree. He immediately went near the pit and without wasting any time, lowered his tail in the pit. Cheeku came out of the pit with the help of Bantu’s tail.

Cheeku thanked Bantu for saving his life. When Neetu came to know about it, he felt very jealous. He complained against Bantu to many animals Some Animals who were influenced by Neetu even stopped talking to Bantu, but he knew who was behind all this. He preferred to keep quite. After rains, the roads had become slippery at many places. The jungle had many hilly roads.

Neetu was fond of motor biking. One day he was riding a motor bike on hilly road. He suddenly lost his control and fell down. His motor bike fell deep down the hill. Neetu was scared to death as he too was falling down in the same direction; but he was changing to a protruding rock. Suddenly Bantu and his friends passed through, “Look, Neetu is in great trouble?” Suddenly Bantu saw him.

“Forget about him. Why do you worry for him? As such he always criticized you. Let us go,” suggested few animals and wanted to go away along with Bantu. But Bantu stopped. He said, “You bring some other animals. I will try to save Neetu.” Ant Bantu started climbing down the hill. Lot of small stones were there on the road, which had become very slippery but Bantu was going down carefully.

Neetu was still clinging to a cliff and was fully drenched in sweat. But his strength was giving way. ‘You hold my tail,” said Bantu as he lowered his tail. Neetu while holding the cliff with his one hand held Bantu’s tail with his other hand. The cliff to which he was clinging, suddenly gave way and was disintegrated. This scared Neetu deep down the hill. “Don’t look down, look upwards. You have already held my tail. Nothing will happen to you. I will pull you up. Don’ be afraid. Just keep holding my tail tightly,” Bantu was trying to comfort Neetu again and again.

With Bantu’s suggestion Neetu gather his courage. He held Bantu’s tail tightly. Bantu by then had started pulling him upwards. By then other animals had also arrived They also joined Bantu’s rescue operation and pulled Bantu and Neetu to safety. When Neetu was safe, he saw Bantu’s tail was injured and he was bleeding. “Don’t be scared, I am fine,” sand Bantu laughingly.

“Please forgive me. I had been always criticizing you and your tail. But because of your tail only I am alive.” Neetu’s voice sounded repentance. Bantu immediately hugged Neetu to comfort him.

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Two line jokes

April 21, 2008

A Mechanical Engineer’s Wife Delivered a Baby. She messaged her husband “Delivered ur spare part” He replied “ Is it a Nut or Bolt”

Sardar ka radio kharab hogaya, us ne khol k dekha to andar ek mara chuha mila, yedekh k sardar gsse se bola ab chalrga kaise? Sala singer he mara pada hai..

Maths teacher asked Rohan if u have 12 chocolates, u gave 5 to priya 3 to pinky 4 to ramya then what will u get? Rohan replied Sir 3 new gal friends

Nude Lady goes 2 bar Asks for a peg Barman stares at her. Lady : never seen nude woman? He says dekhi to hai par sooch raha hu, tum paise kaha se nikalogi?

Sardar Madam yaha Swimming manaa hai. Lady: Then why didn’t u tell me when I was removing my cloths. Sardar Madam Yahan kapde kholna manaa nahi hai

Old man married a young gal. On wedding night he showed 5 fingers to her. Gal said, Oh darling 5 times? Old Man no dear choose any one to use.

What is a kiss? Very simple it is an enquiry in the top floor about the vacancy in the ground floor

A solder got married on 1st night he realized wife having periods He telegram 2 HQ red alert on front extend leave, Reply from HQ attack from back and report.

Sardarji’s wife to sardar sunoji kal raat billi ne pirse dood pike chala gaya, sardar kitn bar kahnoo blouse pehan ke soya karo.

A college girl wearing jeans pant, the zip was open, a boy went & told miss please close ur taj mahal door here my kutub minar is dancing.

A police man arrested a prostitute. Girl: I’m not selling sex.. Police, Then what r u doing Girl, I am selling condoms and offering a free demonstration .

Man I liked ur kiss u passed that chewing gum into my mouth. Girl what chewing gum. That was ur condom.

Why do companies sell condom in packs of 3 & 12 ? 3 is for youngsters to use noon evening and night. And 12 is 4 elders to use once in jan, feb, mar…… Dec.

Introducing 1st time sardarni’s joke why did sardarni keep the door open while bathing? coz she was afraid that some1 might c through keyhole.

Mother do u know the meaning of Mangalsutra? Daughter: Yes it is the licence to enjoy kamasutra

Ladies hostel warden calls bijili office and complains, Aaj to aadme bhej do, ladkiya 3 din se mombatti se kaam chalarahi hain!

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Watch Krazzy – 4 online

April 19, 2008

Laughing time

April 18, 2008

Bus conductor (to a small boy) How old are you child?

Boy Sir I am 7 years at home and 5 here.

—–

Judge (to the convict): Why did you steal a scooter from that house?

Convict Your Honour, I could not find any car there and had to satisfy myself with the scooter only.

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Doctor (to the patient) How many fingers I am holding up?

Patient: Six.

Doctor I do not know which is worse your eyesight or arithmetic.

—–

Ravi (to a stranger): Excuse me, sir I think I have seen your face somewhere else.

Stranger: That cannot be. It is always with me.

—–

Ranjan: Sonu, I have just flown back from Germany.

Sonu: Do not your arms get tired? Go and take rest.

—–

Policeman I am looking for a man with one leg called James.

Farmer What is his other leg called?

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Baker: Madam there are the best cakes we have had for years.

Lady I would like to have some which you baked more recently please

—–

Vandana Do not throw water on the road, Sonu.

Sonu: Why?

Vandana: Because vehicles may slip and fall.

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Guest (in a hotel room) Look here the rain is simply pouring through the roof of my bedroom.

Manager I had already told you that there would be running water everywhere in this hotel.

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Teacher: Sunil, can you tell me anything about the great scientist of the 18th century?

Sunil: They are all dead, sir.

—–

Teacher: Your marks has no beginning and no end.

Shyam: Why sir?

Teacher: Because it is a circle.

—–

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Watch U ME AUR HUM Movie

April 15, 2008

The Boss Vs The Leader

April 13, 2008

The Boss drives his men

The Leader inspires them

The Boss depends on authority

The Leader depends on good will

The Boss envokes fear

The Leader radiates Love

The Boss says “I”

The Leader says “WE”

The Boss shows who is wrong

The Leader shows what is wrong.

The Boss knows how it is done

The Leader knows how to do it

The boss demands respect

The Leader commands respect.

Do u want to be a BOSS or a LEADER

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EASY VS DIFFICULT

April 13, 2008

Easy is to get a place in someone’s address book

Difficult is to get a place in someone’s heart.

Easy is to judge the mistakes of others

Difficult is to recognize our own mistakes

Easy is to talk without thinking

Difficult is to refrain the tongue

Easy is to hurt some one who loves us

Difficult is to heal the wound

Easy is to forgive others

Difficult is to ask for forgiveness

Easy is to set rules

Difficult is to follow them

Easy is to dream every night

Difficult is to fight for a dream

Easy is to show victory

Difficult is to assume the defeat with dignity

Easy is to stumble with a stone

Difficult is to getup…

Easy is to enjoy life everyday

Difficult is to give its real value

Easy is to pray every night

Difficult is to find God in small things..

Easy is to promise something to someone

Difficult is to fulfill the promise

Easy is to say we love

Difficult is to show it everyday…

Easy is to criticize others

Difficult is to improve oneself….

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Seven Don’ts after a meal

April 13, 2008

1. Do not smoke after a meal! Experiments from experts prove that smoking a cigarette after a meal is comparable to smoking TEN cigarettes. (Chances of cancer are higher).

2. Do not eat fruits immediately after meals. It will bloat your stomach. Therefore have your fruits one or two hours before or after your meal.

3. Do not drink tea after a meal as tea leaves contain a high content of acid. This substance will cause the protein content in the food we consume to be hardened; making it difficult to digest.

4. Do not loosen your belt after eating. Loosening the belt after a meal can cause intestinal problems.

5. Do not bathe after eating. Bathing will cause the increase of blood flow to the hands, legs and body thereby causing the amount of blood around the stomach to decrease. This will weaken the digestive system in our stomach.

6. Do not walk after a meal even though you have heard people say that after a meal, walking a hundred steps will make you live till 99. Walking immediately after a meal will make it difficult for the digestive system to absorb the nutrition from the food we eat. Wait at least an hour after your meal and then walk if you want to.

7. Do not sleep immediately. The intake of food will not be able to digest properly thereby leading to gastro-intestinal problems.

http://www.chakradhar.net

Don’t turn love into a relationship

April 7, 2008

Love comes like a strong breeze and carries away two lovers to unknown dimensions. Lovers go through an experience peak and then need to settle down. In the process, they start feeling bored, craving the same peak yet again and again. When they don’t reach it, they feel frustrated and fall into the ditch of misery.

Peaks in love are experienced when lovers open their wings to fly high into the sky together. There’s a whole sky of freedom and togetherness that they feel in each other’s company. But the moment they start clinging to each other and suppress freedom, love falls into an abysmal valley of misery. Then they wonder what happened to their love! The clinging starts clipping their wings, killing their love.

True love is unconditional, and based on an individual’s freedom. Two persons can be very loving together. The more loving they are, the lower the possibility of any relationship. The more loving they are, the greater the freedom between them. The more loving they are, the thinner the prospect of any demand, domination, expectation. Naturally then, there is no question of frustration.

Remember this: Don’t have any expectations. Love because love is your own inner growth. When you love, you call your spring of growth closer. Your love will help you grow towards more light, more truth, more freedom. Love but don’t ever create a relationship!

A relationship is a part of the business world. A slight change in the situation, and it evaporates. It has no solidity. If love comes spontaneously, suddenly, like a fountain, asking for nothing in return, then it is one of the greatest treasures. Love is a fire. The purer it is, the better it burns all riddles, all problems. But love as a relationship creates problems, riddled with all sorts of undesirable things.

Remember this: Love is capable of destroying everything else, just don’t let it become a relationship. If you do, love will disappear and in its place will come politics and manipulation. Then, your problems will only increase.

Osho says: “I am against all kinds of relationships. For example, I don’t like the word ‘friendship’ but I love the word ‘friendliness’. Friendliness is a quality within you; friendship becomes a burdensome relationship.”

Osho elaborates: “Friendship is a relationship. You can be in that relationship with a few people. Friendliness is a quality, not a relationship. It has nothing to do with anybody else. It is basically your inner quality. You can be friendly with many, many people. You can be friendly even when you are alone. You cannot be in friendship when you are alone-the other is needed-but friendliness is a kind of fragrance. A flower blooms; nobody passes by, yet it is fragrant. It matters not whether anyone comes to know of it; being fragrant is its quality.”

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PAPPU

April 5, 2008

One day Pappu’s radio was damaged. He opens it and finds a dead rat inside. Pappu: Oye Stupid singer is dead….

Pappu started selling bog biscuits in a shop.  A Person asked 250 grams of dog biscuits. Pappu asked “Will u eat now or shall I parcel them Sir”

Pappu was waiting for a bus in bus stop. A man passing by in a bike asked “Pappu do u want lift?” Pappu: No need, my house is in ground floor only.

Pappu was walking on road a thief takes Pappu’s mobile and running… Pappu says “Run man run the mobile charger is with me only…”

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