Two line jokes

A Mechanical Engineer’s Wife Delivered a Baby. She messaged her husband “Delivered ur spare part” He replied “ Is it a Nut or Bolt”

Sardar ka radio kharab hogaya, us ne khol k dekha to andar ek mara chuha mila, yedekh k sardar gsse se bola ab chalrga kaise? Sala singer he mara pada hai..

Maths teacher asked Rohan if u have 12 chocolates, u gave 5 to priya 3 to pinky 4 to ramya then what will u get? Rohan replied Sir 3 new gal friends

Nude Lady goes 2 bar Asks for a peg Barman stares at her. Lady : never seen nude woman? He says dekhi to hai par sooch raha hu, tum paise kaha se nikalogi?

Sardar Madam yaha Swimming manaa hai. Lady: Then why didn’t u tell me when I was removing my cloths. Sardar Madam Yahan kapde kholna manaa nahi hai

Old man married a young gal. On wedding night he showed 5 fingers to her. Gal said, Oh darling 5 times? Old Man no dear choose any one to use.

What is a kiss? Very simple it is an enquiry in the top floor about the vacancy in the ground floor

A solder got married on 1^st night he realized wife having periods He telegram 2 HQ red alert on front extend leave, Reply from HQ attack from back and report.

Sardarji’s wife to sardar sunoji kal raat billi ne pirse dood pike chala gaya, sardar kitn bar kahnoo blouse pehan ke soya karo.

A college girl wearing jeans pant, the zip was open, a boy went & told miss please close ur taj mahal door here my kutub minar is dancing.

A police man arrested a prostitute. Girl: I’m not selling sex.. Police, Then what r u doing Girl, I am selling condoms and offering a free demonstration .

Man I liked ur kiss u passed that chewing gum into my mouth. Girl what chewing gum. That was ur condom.

Why do companies sell condom in packs of 3 & 12 ? 3 is for youngsters to use noon evening and night. And 12 is 4 elders to use once in jan, feb, mar…… Dec.

Introducing 1^st time sardarni’s joke why did sardarni keep the door open while bathing? coz she was afraid that some1 might c through keyhole.

Mother do u know the meaning of Mangalsutra? Daughter: Yes it is the licence to enjoy kamasutra

Ladies hostel warden calls bijili office and complains, Aaj to aadme bhej do, ladkiya 3 din se mombatti se kaam chalarahi hain!

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Laughing time

Bus conductor (to a small boy) How old are you child?

Boy Sir I am 7 years at home and 5 here.

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Judge (to the convict): Why did you steal a scooter from that house?

Convict Your Honour, I could not find any car there and had to satisfy myself with the scooter only.

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Doctor (to the patient) How many fingers I am holding up?

Patient: Six.

Doctor I do not know which is worse your eyesight or arithmetic.

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Ravi (to a stranger): Excuse me, sir I think I have seen your face somewhere else.

Stranger: That cannot be. It is always with me.

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Ranjan: Sonu, I have just flown back from Germany.

Sonu: Do not your arms get tired? Go and take rest.

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Policeman I am looking for a man with one leg called James.

Farmer What is his other leg called?

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Baker: Madam there are the best cakes we have had for years.

Lady I would like to have some which you baked more recently please

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Vandana Do not throw water on the road, Sonu.

Sonu: Why?

Vandana: Because vehicles may slip and fall.

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Guest (in a hotel room) Look here the rain is simply pouring through the roof of my bedroom.

Manager I had already told you that there would be running water everywhere in this hotel.

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Teacher: Sunil, can you tell me anything about the great scientist of the 18^th century?

Sunil: They are all dead, sir.

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Teacher: Your marks has no beginning and no end.

Shyam: Why sir?

Teacher: Because it is a circle.

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PAPPU

One day Pappu’s radio was damaged. He opens it and finds a dead rat inside. Pappu: Oye Stupid singer is dead….

Pappu started selling bog biscuits in a shop.  A Person asked 250 grams of dog biscuits. Pappu asked “Will u eat now or shall I parcel them Sir”

Pappu was waiting for a bus in bus stop. A man passing by in a bike asked “Pappu do u want lift?” Pappu: No need, my house is in ground floor only.

Pappu was walking on road a thief takes Pappu’s mobile and running… Pappu says “Run man run the mobile charger is with me only…”

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